Matt McInerney
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BOSTON — 34-year-old Ryan Conway was seemingly unaware that the similarly aged couple he was talking with throughout the night…
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Heather Cook
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NEW YORK — Masked poser Cecilia Munoz was relieved she didn’t have to pretend to know the words at a…
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Cory Cousins
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ALTOONA, Pa. — Local metal band, Reluctant Cannibal, announced they will exclusively perform at venues that mandate the donning of…
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Ted Pillow
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NEW PALTZ, N.Y. — 62-year-old Larry Dang’s intensely positive description of a Rush show he attended in 1983 suggests that…
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James Knapp
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BALTIMORE — Surgeons at Johns Hopkins Medical Center recently performed the first successful procedure to physiologically affix classic rock fan…
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Peter Woods
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CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. — Local punk Matthew Verne reportedly suffered an immense financial loss after his mother repurposed over $26,000 worth…
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Taylor Roebuck
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DETROIT — Local short person Elizabeth Kramer spent $90 on floor tickets for an upcoming concert after forgetting that she’s…
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Patrick Crooks
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NEW YORK — Local punk Frankie Hartman lamented moments ago that he managed to stand yet again in the exact…
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Krissy Howard
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RIDGEWOOD, N.Y. — Local creep Lance Weems narrowly squeezed past two women at a limited capacity venue last night despite…
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Tyler Roland
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EVANSTON, Ill. — Local man Ryan Michaelson began a new ritual last October, placing $7 in his fridge each time…
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