CINCINNATI — Newly expecting couple Darren Herzberg and Emily Snyder are excited for childbirth purely to gain a new person they can force to play…
I know what you’re thinking and, yes, I am a baby. Let’s get past that. It’s fair to wonder whether I should even be allowed…
SKOKIE, Ill. — Local parents Laura and Sam Conner learned yesterday that their first child, born just this past Sunday, is already out of iCloud…
LONDON, England — A giant, nearly two-meter long baby was flown over London Square today, prompting confusion and outrage among local residents. The controversial appearance…
MARIETTA, Ohio — Local toddler Samantha McKinnon was completely indifferent yesterday when her grandmother feigned taking Samantha’s nose during a family get-together, sources close to…
According to multiple news outlets, a viral video of an infant with an infectious laugh has been watched over one million times and many have…
OMG! We can just not get enough of this adorable little newborn boy, Tweezer Carson. Not only was this little rocker born during an epic…
PASADENA, Calif. — Straight edge parents Mike and Joy Harmon were ecstatic to learn that their newborn daughter, MacKaye, was born with three X chromosomes,…
THIS. HAS. TO. STOP. Everyone in this bar knows the jukebox costs $1 per song or $3 for 4 songs. This isn’t a charity. I’m…
PHOENIX — Local hero and vinyl enthusiast Nate Adams broke a car window in last week’s triple-digit temperatures in order to save some records overheating…
MILWAUKEE — Thomas Hannigan, a 22-year-old with a family history of addiction and psychological disorder, is acting like a “complete baby, chickenshit buzzkill, and probably…
MONTCLAIR, N.J. — The newborn baby of local punks Kara and Brian Davis is not living up to the hype and high expectations set forth…
SHAMROCK, Texas — The lack of fair use photos of mutilated babies has left local grindcore band Rectal Distress frustrated and scrambling to find the…
Like all moms, I think my baby is very special. Except unlike every other mom in the world, I’m actually right. My baby is special! I…
SALT LAKE CITY – Chad, the founding member of perennial show-opening grindcore band Ruptured Anus, is allegedly having a baby, according to multiple reports. The…