LOS ANGELES — Local Leo Andrew Allsop is distraught after discovering that astrological differences appear to be an active threat in his several-month relationship with…
My whole life, I just kept hearing, “You Geminis… I never know which one of you I’m gonna get! One minute you’re throwing the BBQ…
Opinion: Religion Is Made Up Bullshit That Only An INFJ, Sagittarius, Enneagram Type 4 Would Believe
Opinion: Religion Is Made Up Bullshit That Only An INFJ, Sagittarius, Enneagram Type 4 Would Believe
Can you believe it? It’s 2022 and there are still people who think religion is legit. Well, not everyone. Some of us know that it’s…
WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — Local woman Alicia Beacon discovered a major red flag during her first date with Tony Delough in his overwhelmingly vocal distaste for…
Astrology is pretty much the only thing on everyone’s mind nowadays. Unfortunately everyone kind of just gives in to the zodiac hand they’ve been dealt…
As a Capricorn, there are few things I can’t stand as much as Libras. They are emotionally detached, self-pitying pacifists. The stars have chosen to…
ATHENS, Ohio — Self-described lover of crystals, energy healing, and astrology Emma Cobb is reportedly only into hobbies that allow her to casually stereotype people,…
A recent study conducted by the Institute for the Advanced Study of Sociology revealed that men are upwards of 90% more likely to believe in…
CLEVELAND — Local woman and total poser Brandi Herrera could not recall her moon sign yesterday when asked, despite her identifying as a lesbian, according…
Look, I’m not stupid. I always knew my daughter Monica could be at risk for this kind of thing. She’s always been a “creative” type,…
Hey you. It’s me. I need to ask you something and I hope you’ll be honest with me. I know you’ve been hurt before by…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Geoff Kaplan was overly critical and harsh this afternoon while discussing astrology stereotypes with friends, sources close to the obvious…
Aries (March 21 – April 19) Remember, Aries: Mars rules your sign; it does not rule you. Cancel your preorder for those 30 Seconds to…
Aries (March 21 – April 19) This is the best week of the year to listen to your creative urges, Aries — try rolling your…
Aries (March 21 – April 19) There’s no faster way to an Aries’ heart than a well-timed compliment. You know it, and, unfortunately, so does…