Brandon Morland
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OMAHA, Neb. — Local straight edge man Hal Pemulis was arrested and booked into Douglas County Department of Corrections after…
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Anna Walsh
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SPOKANE, Wash. — An adorable bandana-clad dog seen frequenting the town skate park is rumored to be a human under…
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Ryan Danley
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PITTSBURGH — Local punk Sam Allister’s life built entirely on doing things out of spite for the extreme bitterness of…
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Nick Ortolani
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DALLAS — Local white man Darrell Hargrove raised alarm bells yesterday after a traffic incident led experts to believe his…
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Nick Ortolani
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WASHINGTON — Democratic members of the U.S. legislature announced today that, “Fuck it, we’re gonna lower the minimum wage,” following…
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Patrick Crooks
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“Overall, a huge disappointment and not worth the money or hassle” You know what those are? Those are your last…
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James Knapp
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WEST LAWN, Penn. — A violent altercation in an IHOP parking lot yesterday between members of doom-metal band Savage Agnes…
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Freelancer
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LEXINGTON, Ky. — Ofc. Michael Skolnyk opened fire on a grand jury yesterday after they figuratively slapped him on the…
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John Danek
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DES MOINES, Iowa — Local Lowe’s manager Darrell Winchester removed Slipknot percussionist Shawn “Clown” Crahan from the store again last…
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Jerrod Kingery
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PONCA CITY, Okla. — Marcotte’s Market Grocery cashier Russell Lum took out all of his anger and stress on the…
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