Stephen Bell
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WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. — First Lady Melania Trump was apprehended by Florida election officials this morning after being caught…
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Bobby Korec
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CHICAGO — Historically undecided voter Gunther Wexler waited eight grueling hours yesterday to cast a “protest” vote for Harambe, the…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local voter Martin Frost does not actually want video game character Waluigi to be president, despite writing…
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Nariko Ott
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WASHINGTON — Republicans across the country are drawing up new state maps in a desperate attempt to confuse voters and…
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Mo Mozuch
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SAN JOSE, Calif. — Developers at Supergiant Games reportedly cannot pinpoint why their hit game Hades, about a man attempting…
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Mark Roebuck
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PHOENIX — Despite his entire social circle being overcome with anxiety, dread, and financial instability for most of the calendar…
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Ryan Werner
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SAN FRANCISCO — The oft-ridiculed snare sound from Metallica’s 2003 album “St. Anger” announced yesterday that it will also run…
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WASHINGTON — RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel announced today that the fourth night of the Republican National Convention will feature wall-to-wall…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Experts warned today that listening to the hit Mountain Goats song “This Year” is no longer enough…
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Ryan Harnedy
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WASHINGTON — Republican Party sources claimed today that they are in possession of a potentially damning episode of “Room Raiders”…
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