25. Soulfly “Prophecy”
The echo of “New millennium tribal war!” rings out as I prepare for my final stand in this battle. In ancient times, tribal war meant something brutal, primal, and dangerous. Well in my room, it means the same gosh-damn thing. I will summon the warrior spirit of my conqueror ancestors, who I actually respect by the way, unlike my parents who are total pussies that bought me the edited version of this record.
24. From Ashes to New “Monster in Me”
Finally, some new Nu Metal! Bringing back the classic Nu Metal/rap-rock sound, From Ashes to New (oh, I get it) are going a long way towards revitalizing my favorite genre. Mixing classic rap-metal with modern 808s and breakdowns, “Monster in Me” alone could keep this tantrum up all the way to dessert, which is honestly enough incentive to let all this anger go.
23. Fear Factory “Linchpin”
If you love Nu Metal as much as we do, this song will absolutely fuel your parent-hate sessions all night long. This song will fill you with so much rage, by the time you get to the rap/talkdown, you can just escape your grounding through the new full-sized exit you made in your wall.
22. Karnivool “All I Know”
Typically, Nu Metal is all about chaotic aggression but Karnivool brings a sense of musicianship along with an ability to let songs breathe. This would normally make me hate a band more than I hate my parents, but then the ending kicks in and I’m reminded of what I live for: pissing off my Mom and Dad.
21. Saint Asonia “Above It All”
This Nu Metal supergroup combines the soul of Nu Metal with the absolute buttest of butt rock. This song is perfect for the calm before the storm when you’re gearing up for one final push. I was referring to the tantrum but it also works for pooping too. I guess that’s why they call it “butt rock.” Who would have thought it had a second meaning?
20. Skindred “Gimme That Boom”
So many new Nu Metal bands can be so gimmicky. It’s like they just stole the aesthetics from the genre and haphazardly slapped together some music to make money preying on people’s nostalgia. Thank God Skindred doesn’t do that.
19. P.O.D. “Boom”
While I don’t usually like to mix religion and Nu Metal, but P.O.D. is a shining exception. The hook on “Boom” gets me so hyped we could rip a bible in half and then frantically try to glue it back together before Mom sees it. We don’t need to add another week onto this heinous grounding. Also, this is the only Nu Metal song to inspire a Kevin James movie. And people say Nu Metal has no artistic merit.
18. Saliva “Click Click Boom”
Let’s call this part three of the Nu Metal “Boom” trilogy, and like all movie trilogies, it’s the best one.
17. Wargasm “Do It So Good”
Wargasm is a band that pisses off old-school Nu Metal fans the same way Nu Metal pissed off old school metal fans. It’s beautiful. And I channel that rage vicariously to fuel my tantrum.
16. The Prodigy “Firestarter”
Way ahead of their time, The Prodigy mixed rock and EDM when it was still called “techno.” It may be sonically tame by today’s standards, but the emotions still pierce through the speakers and into my impressionable, impulsive heart. What can I say, I’m just a twisted firestarter. Long live weird music!
15. Godsmack “I Stand Alone”
If I could have pro wrestling-style entrance music playing every time I came to the dinner table, I’d use this song. Also, if Mom and Dad fucking let me do that maybe I wouldn’t be so “fussy” at dinner.
14. Powerman 5000 “When Worlds Collide”
The outfits the fellas in PM5K are wearing show the undeniable staying power of Nu Metal fashion. Anyone who says they had a Nu Metal “phase” is just admitting they’re a coward. That’s why we’re especially mad at Mom for taking away our goggle collection. Thank God I hid all my industrial waste disposal jumpsuits under my mattress.
13. Static-X “The Only”
People say all Nu Metal songs sound the same. Yeah, they do. That’s why I fucking like them all.
12. Adema “Freaking Out”
If anyone tries to tell you that Nu Metal is a gimmick genre with no timeless classics, just hit play on this b-side from a band that only got signed because the singer was Jonathan Davis’ brother. With timeless lyrics like, “Everything my Mom said made me mad and everything my Dad said made me sad” or “You keep trippin’ on everything that I wear, every time I swear, even when it comes to my hair.” These are literally the most relatable lyrics on Earth. But if people are too scared to face the harsh realities brought forth by these lyrics, they can at least enjoy the chorus which is sincerely one the the best Nu Metal hooks ever written.
11. Jack Off Jill “Strawberry Gashes”
As much as I hate to throw a song with deep lyrical substance onto something as trivial as a temper-tantrum playlist, listening to “Strawberry Gashes” grants me the strength to keep this hissy fit going. Also, it’s an absolutely incredible song.
10. Rob Zombie “Dragula”
NOW WE ARE FUCKING SWINGING. “Dragula” summons within us the spirits that thrust us back and forth into our childhood bedroom walls looking like a Tasmanian devil tornado-ing through a Hot Topic.
9. System of a Down “Chop Suey!”
The bangers keep coming and I’m not just talking about me pounding on my door to the rhythm of the kick drum. The drums build the tension in the song while I build the tension in my family. I am one with the music. I am one with the shit fit.
8. Deftones “Passenger”
It’s really cool seeing Deftones get a resurgence in relevancy as of late. At this point it feels like I’ve been throwing tantrums to songs off “White Pony” for decades.
7. Disturbed “Down with the Sickness”
Probably the best build up to a Nu Metal song ever. Well, maybe second to “Bawitdaba” but this isn’t a list of rap/metal/country/grifter songs. The pounding of the bass matches my pounding on the floor. I don’t even know if I’m doing this for attention or vengeance at this point, but I do know it feels really good to act like this while this song is playing.
6. Linkin Park “One Step Closer”
If these lyrics don’t sum up my entire worldview, I don’t know what does. Just put “Shut up when I’m talking to you” on my tombstone and call it a life.
5. Drowning Pool “Bodies”
Nu Metal doesn’t get nearly enough credit for the diverse array of rhythms that nearly every band brings to the genre. These “bounce” rhythms fit the genre perfectly and advanced rhythmic techniques have been used in other alternative subgenres since. Nu Metal is as important in music as it is in fueling my histrionics.
4. Korn “Blind”
This is the song that started it all. “Blind” is a masterpiece that sounded like literally nothing else when it came out. My parents know it’s about to get real when they hear “ARE YOU RRRRREADYYYYY” blasting out of the stereo they got me for my birthday.
3. Slipknot “People = Shit”
Agreed. Hit play and let’s fuck shit up.
2. Papa Roach “Broken Home”
What, were you expecting “Last Resort?” This song is literally called “Broken Home.” Listen to your little pizza meme song if you want, but this Papa Roach jam is perfect for breaking things in your home. Lamps, furniture, your family’s sense of stability. It’s all there for the smashin’! That’ll teach ‘em to… wait, why are we mad again?
1. Limp Bizkit “Break Stuff”
No surprises here. “Break Stuff” is the ultimate song for when you’re mad at your parents. The lyrics show you how to properly vent anger and frustration in rational and realistic ways. The guitar riff is aggressive and full of animosity, almost as if Wes Borland was channeling the frustration he felt having to play the same two chords over and over again. Plus, listening to this song got all the aggression out of my system. Now I can calmly rejoin my family downstairs at the dinner table. My kids are probably worried about me, but I’m sure they’re fine down there. They love it here at their Grammy and Grampa’s house.
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