LONDON — A serial killer targeting merch guys allegedly murdered another victim at a show last night, continuing a month-long spree that has yet to…
BOSTON — Local straight edger Austin Evans quietly formed an undying, eternal bond at a party last night with Tugger Q. Bingley, the cat cared…
ALAMEDA, Calif. — Local punk venue The Frick House installed depressed tenant Adam Gould on their couch yesterday, with full access to multiple streaming services,…
STANFORD, Calif. — Researchers at Stanford University’s Department of Biochemistry have developed a new drug test that simply checks a user’s Spotify playlists for the…
Dear Scabby: I am a straight woman who’s in love with a gay man — what do I do? -DELUSIONAL ROMANTIC Dear Delusional Romantic: Sexual…
SAN DIEGO — Local man and semi-frequent sex-haver Taylor Durham edited his 95-minute long playlist “Poon Tunez” yesterday while reluctantly accepting the limitations of his…
Let’s face it, we wouldn’t be where we are without the help and guidance of our teachers who give us their all every day–minus the…
BEDFORD, N.Y. — Recently single 31-year-old Alexander Harwood is reportedly longing today for the era in which grief and sorrow was solely expressed through away…
SEATTLE — Online retail behemoth Amazon filed an official complaint yesterday against band merch site Rockabilia in one of the first cases examining eminent internet…
In the faced-paced world of today most folks want to become addicted to something, but just don’t know where to start. Luckily, when you look…
AUSTIN, Texas. — Democratic Presidential hopeful Beto O’Rourke reportedly ate his sherpa last night following a treacherous table climb at an Austin BBQ restaurant, horrified…
HUDSON, N.Y. — Local mother Mallory Kerner called her daughter Jenna this morning, shortly after texting to see whether or not Jenna had already listened…
GREENVILLE, S.C. — A black T-shirt frequently worn by local punk Ryan Matheson entered the “vaguely green” era of its life cycle after a standard…
OXNARD, Calif. — Local gentleman Jay Deme impressed his new girlfriend Lisa Traynor last night by politely opening up a mosh pit for her to…
Status Update Hijacked by Dad Wondering if You’re Coming Home for Mother’s Day
NORMAN, Okla. — A Facebook status update posted by Haute Sauce guitarist Julie Rice was hijacked today when her father “totally steamrolled” the comments section…