AKRON, Ohio — Officer Brian McCarthur of the Akron Police Department shared his delight at seeing work friends while infiltrating local far-right militia, the Sons…
It is essential for women in big cities to be aware of their surroundings. It’s also essential for women in mid-sized cities, small towns, quaint…
BOSTON, Mass. — Harvard scientists studying modern American relationship dynamics made a breakthrough discovery by identifying the first conventionally attractive polyamorous couple. “The lack of…
CHARLEROI, Pa. — Lifelong punk Hunter Burchuk experienced the startling epiphany that moshing is “dumb as hell” during a recent local hardcore show, concerned friends…
KEENE, N.H. — Family court judge Deanna Westcock was unexpectedly persuaded to reconsider a tense custody battle following a stirring acoustic bass solo by the…
AUSTIN, Texas — Members of the instrumental post-rock band Explosions in the Sky condemned Hollywood’s current lack of emotionally resonant sports movies that would be…
CHICAGO — United Airlines unveiled a new ad campaign that will emphasize the length of time that’s passed since the coordinated attacks on the United…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Former President Joe Biden announced he is embarking on a new project designed to destroy the homes of innocent people living in…
WASHINGTON — The collection of white dorks that make up Elon Musk’s entourage asked for a significant raise if they are expected to publicly defend…
WASHINGTON — Famed Harry Potter villain Lord Voldemort was spotted at Donald Trump’s Presidential Inauguration, hiding under First Lady Melania Trump’s hat, multiple sources confirmed.…
WASHINGTON — White House Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller capped off his day by rewatching the death of horse Artax in beloved 1984 children’s…
BENTONVILLE, Ark. — Local naive man Collin Blakeman blissfully contributed savings to his 401(k) despite the fact there is no future in which he will…
NEW YORK — Ahmir K. Thompson, better known as Questlove from the band The Roots, recently questioned what kind of horrible person he was in…
STARBASE, Texas — A contractor working on Elon Musk’s new Texas mega-mansion revealed that every book on the billionaire’s shelf was just a false lever…
Earlier this week, iconic American filmmaker David Lynch died, leaving behind an astonishingly brilliant and bizarre body of work that blends violence, romance, mystery, surrealism,…