Billy Patterson
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ANN ARBOR, Mich. – Local teenager Valerie Booth reluctantly made the choice to be goth after reviewing her wardrobe consisting…
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Nathan Kamal
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CHICAGO — Aging goth Ashe Montresor is barely managing to push through their daily 170-minute ritual of applying the appropriate…
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Robert John Scucci
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HIGHLAND PARK, Ill. — Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan surprised onlookers when he dramatically removed a bald cap to reveal…
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Robert Vetter
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LOS ANGELES — Local goth Ophelia Hall recently began advocating for harsher prison sentences amid calls for justice reform, especially…
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Caroline Smith
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HENDERSON, Nev. — Local goth Amarantha Obsidian blew her entire October grocery budget on novelty Halloween socks from Spirit Halloween…
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Ben Friedman
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NEPTUNE, N.J. — Local supermarket cashier and goth Trish Sommers filed a multi-million dollar lawsuit against her employer after her…
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Nick Ortolani
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BATON ROUGE, La. — Candace Lepetomayne, drummer for industrial band Manufuckturing Sextor, has become increasingly worried that her job will…
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Dustin Meadows
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DES MOINES, Iowa — Liz Connelly, a second-year Applebee’s employee, refused to show three members of nü-metal octet Slipknot to…
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Sarah Feliciano
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ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local man with too much time on his hands Daniel Arnold unpromptedly gave his two cents on…
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Nathan Kamal
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LOS ANGELES — Legendary rock musician Dave Grohl revealed that the surviving members of seminal grunge band Nirvana still sometimes…
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