Courtney Baka
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ANSBACH, GERMANY — Indianapolis-born stoner Pvt. Jason Jordan is “lighting up a nice fatty” at 16:20 every day as he…
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Elizabeth Teets
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BOISE, Idaho — The freshly cleaned bedroom of local woman Megan O’Leary is “anxiously excited” to meet O’Leary’s potential sexual…
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Aries (March 21-April 19) Mercury is finally out of the dickhead zone for you, so enjoy the reprieve. Use the…
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Michael Edwards
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STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. — Measureworks IT technician Jeff Simmins left dozens of bar patrons perplexed last night after singing “Svefn-g-englar”…
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Eric Navarro
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While adults are busy arguing on Facebook or getting their daily propaganda from Fox News, one high school junior is…
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Lana Schwartz
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CHICAGO — Local man Tom Bencin, who recently spent $35 on a Pussyslaughter T-shirt that reads “#1 PUSSY MURDERER” in…
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Sari Beliak
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INDIO, Calif. –– Swarms of honeybees began their annual trek to the Coachella music festival early Friday morning to pollinate…
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Daniel Louis
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PHILADELPHIA — An online dinner recipe for a simple, vegan-friendly lentil soup has allegedly been written as a “fucking novel…
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Aries (March 21-April 19) As an Aries, it's no secret that you can be a giant diva from time to…
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Mark Hassenfratz
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DALLAS — Ricardo “the Scuzz” Garza tripled his net worth last night when he found a half of a pack…
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