Patrick Coyne
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BUFFALO, N.Y. — A small, unorganized local collection of punks, transients, and drug addicts with minimal artistic ability and motivation…
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Freelancer
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INDIANAPOLIS — Recent college graduate Mark Robinson had a job interview yesterday he thought “went pretty well,” despite his inability…
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Tom Peters
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AMHERST, Mass. — Local resident Minkont Cranford stunned his roommates yesterday with his acquisition of an oversized, bulky organ, discovered…
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Mark Roebuck
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DETROIT — Avid cannabis consumer Jake Sweeney exploded in rage today after finding a seed in his marijuana for the…
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Randi Pulator
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RICHMOND, Va. — Members of the disbanded hardcore group Surge Protector reunited in secret last night to discuss ending their…
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BUFFALO, N.Y. — Democratic Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders would not stop yelling at sound guy Ethan Gardner about “Medicare for…
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SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — 26-year-old data scientist Ricky LeBlanc reportedly impressed party guests last night by opening their beers with…
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Mark Maira
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LOS ANGELES — ’90s electronica artist Moby dismissed today the negative statements you allegedly made about him on a friends’…
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Krissy Howard
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ENDICOTT, N.Y. — A small punk community in central New York officially ran out of new scene members to fuck…
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Krissy Howard
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MADRID — Valeria Lopez, the oldest millennial in the world, died late last night at the age of 39 following…
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