Culture Archives - Page 462

Deeply Personal Meaning Behind Tattoo Changed Once Again

Patrick Coyne • November 1, 2019

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — The deeply personal and profound meaning behind local man Trent Williams’ “actually not stupid or impulsive”…

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Study: ‘Pregnancy Glow’ Reportedly Just Side Effect of Not Drinking Everyday

Dom Turek • November 1, 2019

BALTIMORE — A new study conducted by researchers at Johns Hopkins University confirmed that the mysterious glow many women experience…

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‘98 Civic Apparently Not Classic Enough for Rockabilly Scene Cred

John Dixon • November 1, 2019

DAYTON, Ohio — Local car enthusiast Daniel Wagner learned yesterday that his customized 1998 Honda Civic is not yet “classic”…

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Tom Waits Giving out Rusted Harmonicas to Any Trick-or-Treaters Who Visit Him at Haunted Junkyard

Dustin Meadows • October 31, 2019

POMONA, Calif. — Trick-or-treaters visiting the haunted junkyard behind Old Man Clemens’ house were rewarded with rusted harmonicas handed out…

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Goth Heartbroken Inheritance Didn’t Have a “One Night in Haunted House” Stipulation

Patrick Coyne • October 31, 2019

BELLE ISLE, Fla. — Local goth Jess “Alexandria Ravenwood” Reynolds is heartbroken that her recently deceased aunt did not include…

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“Tom_Green_Sausage_Song_AudioREAL_FUNNY” To Headline Kazaalapalooza

Joe Rumrill • October 30, 2019

SYDNEY, Australia — Developers behind the popular mid-2000s peer-to-peer sharing platform Kazaa announced today that files labeled “Tom_Green_Sausage_Song_AudioREAL_FUNNY” will headline…

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Embarrassed Kid Wears Homemade Bulletproof Vest to School Instead of Name-Brand

Lauren Lavín • October 30, 2019

AKRON, Ohio — Local fourth-grader Vincent “Vinny” Ortiz-Galt felt “I don’t know, just bad, I guess” about wearing a homemade…

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Punk Treats Himself to Food From the Nice Gas Station

John Bukovac • October 28, 2019

PITTSBURGH — Local punk Sean Schricker was spotted around lunchtime yesterday carrying a bag of food from upscale gas station…

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Realistic Lesbian Porn Just 90 Minutes of Woman at Brunch With Three Exes

John Danek • October 28, 2019

SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — An independent adult film company has achieved a new level of realism in lesbian pornography with…

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Mom Cheerfully Fixes “Fuck Authority” Patch

Ryan Harnedy • October 28, 2019

ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local mother Kerry Mendez happily spent an hour of her Sunday afternoon last week resewing a “Fuck…

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