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Hardcore Frontman Wants to Open Up This Relationship

NORTHAMPTON, Mass. — Frontman for hardcore band XjaundiceX and local scene legend Al Harrell spent the past week trying to convince his partner Lily Vallee to consider ethical non-monogamy, apprehensive sources report.

“Lily, what the fuck is up! I want to hear you and your thoughts on opening up this fuckin’ relationship!” Harrell, who just finished reading “The Ethical Slut,” was overheard yelling to his partner of 14 months. “You know you mean the world to me, but I think it could strengthen our fuckin’ bond by allowing each other to enjoy other people from time to time, as long as we are sensitive towards each other’s fuckin’ feelings. I never want you to feel betrayed, so I’m fuckin’ happy to take things at your pace!”

Some of Harrell’s friends are happy he’s being clear about his wants and needs — including bandmate and XjaundiceX guitarist Danny Payton.

“Al can do anything he sets his mind to. He’s one of the hardest brothas out there,” Payton proudly said. “Back in his MSU days, I once saw him knock two guys out with a running double-armed clothesline at Pearl Street — we used to call him the Executioner. I can’t believe he talked his broad into letting him pork whoever he wants. This next tour is gonna be fuckin’ nuts! Wait, can I swear in this?”

Despite assumptions that Harrell will use the newly open relationship as an opportunity to “bang mad skanks,” his partner insisted that this is not the case.

 

“He comes off tough or whatever, but he’s super sweet, and really good at communicating. During our first threesome, Al was always checking in on me and making sure everyone felt included. We all had a lovely evening — we even recorded some good gang vocals for his band’s new 7” that night,” said Vallee. “A lot of people think the song ‘Speak Your Truth’ is about boycotting venues that serve booze, but it’s actually about some new relationship energy that came up around that time that we had to be really honest about.”

Harrell announced his updated relationship status during a recent set, in which he shouted out “…my family, my friends, my partner, and sharing the pleasure of an orgasm with various lovers.”

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