Culture Archives - Page 401

The Hard Times Staff • May 21, 2020

LOS ANGELES — Local woman Mattie Foster, known for her drunken outbursts at shows, is now simply loud and wasted…

Amir Adan • May 20, 2020

BLOOMINGTON, Minn. — A quarantined couple stuck in the same house under self-isolation since March ended their one-and-a-half year-long relationship…

The Hard Times Staff • May 20, 2020

WASHINGTON — Governors from all 50 states agreed that shelter-in-place orders would firmly remain on your shitty band as the…

Jeremy Kaplowitz • May 19, 2020

NEW YORK — Local man Marc Ramsey has baked a life-size sourdough girlfriend to combat his quarantine-induced loneliness, concerned sources…

Dan Kozuh • May 19, 2020

BLUE ISLAND, Ill. — Local father Lucas Carroll is doing his best to homeschool his children during coronavirus stay-at-home orders,…

Pat Cavanaugh • May 18, 2020

CHICAGO — Freelance marketing writer Jim Podaski reportedly channeled his inner “Mad Men” protagonist Don Draper today for his latest…

Patrick Coyne • May 18, 2020

CINCINNATI — Chronically unemployed local woman and semi-professional singer-songwriter Jody Salazar has no idea how to pay taxes on all…

Jonah Nink • May 18, 2020

CHICAGO — Local goth Raven Stevens spent her entire savings on new clothes yesterday after an attempt to eat a…

V.F. Thompson • May 17, 2020

KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Last week, a local polycule reached its breaking point and spoke out on social media against the…

Zac Lux • May 17, 2020

MONTREAL — PornHub I.T. guy Dewey Palmer helped a fellow employee troubleshoot their malfunctioning computer this morning by suggesting they…

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