Eli Johnson
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NEWPORT NEWS, Va. — Jenny Fitzsimmons allowed her husband Alfred to remove the enigmatic green ribbon she’s worn around her…
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Patrick Coyne
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WESTFIELD, Ind. — Local man Tom Simmons remains totally perplexed as to why everyone who watched “Squid Game” found the…
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James Howe
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PINOLE, Calif. — Emergency Medical responders arrived at the site of a psychiatric distress call late Wednesday to find Sheriff's…
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John Danek
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LOS ANGELES – Blink-182’s virtuoso drummer, Travis Barker, shed a singular tear upon hearing that upstart pop-punk band Girlsack released…
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Krissy Howard
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NEWBURGH, N.Y. — A romantic day-date activity was undergone and endured by a local couple early yesterday morning, sources who…
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V.F. Thompson
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KALAMAZOO, Mich. — A skeleton mistaken for a seasonal decoration at a local library is suspected to be an architectural…
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James Knapp
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MANCHESTER, N.H. — Dan Levitton, lead vocalist for touring hardcore band Weekend Proposal, told the “motherfuckers” in the back to…
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Bobby Korec
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MANHATTAN — Local heroes in a half shell The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are reportedly “totally bummed out” after rising…
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Patrick Coyne
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ELDERSBURG, Md. — The appeal of joining a "throuple” for local woman Denise Hubbard was completely obliterated by prospective partners…
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Ted Pillow
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CINCINNATI — 26-year-old punk Bobby Larson is now listing a local 7-Eleven cashier as his only emergency contact in lieu…
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