Rockie Wenrich
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CHICAGO — Local young couple Brandon Brentwood and Jade Long discovered that Long’s grandmother is just trying way too hard…
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Patrick Crooks
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PALO ALTO, Calif. — Scientists for Tesla’s robotics team have reported that recent requests from senior management indicate that they…
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Natalie Vinh
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SEATTLE — Local amateur groupie Sarah Pepper is reportedly horrified after accidentally sleeping with the deceased body lying behind a…
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Nathan Kamal
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EUGENE, Ore. — Local punk Randy “Dirty Randy” Lopez made a surprisingly well-thought-out and articulated case for the Chrysler PT…
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Patrick Crooks
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NEW YORK — Jezebel writer Cara Olson has reportedly been ‘methodical’ and ‘giddy’ in her attempt to find something problematic…
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Tony Morse
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WASHINGTON — Fox News host Tucker Carlson used the 1981 Dead Kennedys song “Nazi Punks Fuck Off” as one of…
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James Knapp
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LONDON — American ska band Big Potatoes recently caused the worst traffic jam in UK history while attempting to incorporate…
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Courtney Baka
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BETHESDA, Md. — Local resident Emily Spencer suffered through yet another flavorless meal when friend Darrien Thomas announced that he…
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Alicia Hawkes
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NEW YORK — Broadway’s newest jukebox musical, “Beyond Butterfly,” featuring the music of early 2000s rap-rock band Crazy Town, opened…
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Dianne Nora
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INDIANAPOLIS — National Guard veteran Katy Hawkins is reportedly still suffering from traumatic memories of attempting to navigate the benefits…
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