Zach Hudson
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NEW YORK — Local metalhead Mark Calhoune confidently wore a Mastodon shirt to the Museum of Natural History despite not…
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Stephen Bell
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SYDNEY — An enlightening new study from researchers at The University of Sydney found that the majority of sea turtles…
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Ben Friedman
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WASHINGTON — Abaddon the Destroyer, an immortal demon from the deepest depths of hell, begged an exorcist to free him…
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Mimi Kenny
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DALY CITY, Calif. — Paul “Sprout Fingers” Brecher, a devoted follower of legendary rock band The Grateful Dead, did his…
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John Danek
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BILLINGS, Mont. — Former music obsessive Paul Yarborough finally achieved bodily immunity to the intoxicating effects of new music following…
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PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Local punk household, “The Underground Failroad,” is grieving for their microwave, which is considered “no longer functional”…
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Dave McNamara
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WORCESTER, Mass. – Local shoegaze band Snooze Pedal thrilled audience members by using half a string of Dollar General Christmas…
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EUGENE, Ore. — A local man bun was discovered to be full of gross raisins, sources who had already made…
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Ted Pillow
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DETROIT — Frustrated wife Hannah Gerhardt figured out how to install a breathalyzer on her husband’s acoustic guitar which would…
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Tracy Kellett
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MOBILE, Ala. — Local family The Jensens are in disbelief after the dog they adopted used his talking buttons to…
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