Bobby Korec
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MODESTO, Calif. — Local bachelor Lou Charksville admitted that he can’t be himself around his new exceptionally lifelike sex doll…
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Zachary Wolf
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BEMIDJI, Minn. — A well-worn Danzig shirt owned by middle-aged metalhead Kyle Russo narrowly avoided being donated to Goodwill with…
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Louie Aronowitz
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PERRYSBURG, Ohio — A recent posting of singer/songwriter Dan Sheen’s Bandcamp link has silenced his local friend group chat despite…
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Chris Bowen
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CANASTOTA, N.Y — A rough-looking carnival worker sporting a Pantera shirt responsible for running a Ferris wheel made it certain…
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Matt McInerney
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ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local parents Jean and Tom Decker finally decided it's acceptable to let their middle-aged son watch that…
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Tim Graham
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KENOSHA, Wis. — The long-hunted serial murderer known only as The Kenosha Cannibal was pleasantly surprised he could still slip…
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Dan Kozuh
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SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local punk and administrative assistant Ross Taylor celebrated fifteen years at a job that he claims he…
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Stephen Bell
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CARSON CITY, Nev. — Local graphic designer Sam Davis regretted ever mentioning that he’s never seen “Star Wars” after being…
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John Danek
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BALTIMORE — Ferocious garage punk rockers Cigarettes Saved My Life challenged expectations by including a six-minute ballad at the end…
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Stephen Bell
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PHILO, Ohio — Local 8th grader and “true” punk Tim Krenalka reportedly knows his geography pretty well, but refuses to…
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