Alec Walker
•
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local community members attending a nearby funeral reported the mood of the event was a bit sour…
Read More →
Adam Frost-Venrick
•
WASHINGTON— Mitch McConnell revealed that he was “relieved” to learn that the specter of death he kept seeing slowly rambling…
Read More →
Zach Hudson
•
SARATOGA SPRINGS, N.Y — Local cigar smoker Charles Morley and his group of male friends who look and act exactly…
Read More →
Kathy Lynch
•
SEATTLE — Starbucks officials announced that the chain will now sell straight-up garbage for customers to throw in the fucking…
Read More →
Joe Rumrill
•
GIBBON, Neb. — Perennial local opening act Algae Pile is raking in cash after making the decision to sell the…
Read More →
Bobby Korec
•
Driving someone to the airport is as old as the miracle of flight itself, and you need to be a…
Read More →
Robert John Scucci
•
NUTLEY, N.J. — Local retired baby boomer Grant Walters confirmed that the “something to cry about” threat he used to…
Read More →
Joe Rumrill
•
BURLINGTON, Vt. — A participant of an impromptu road trip sing-along confidently began the chorus to a popular song a…
Read More →
Bex Kane
•
RACINE, Wis. — Unconcerned sources report that the clumsy efforts of crowd-killer Danny Wilkins at a house show by local…
Read More →
Alex Vlahov
•
LEAWOOD, Kan. — Movie theater chain AMC rolled out a new tiered fee system allowing patrons to avoid seats behind…
Read More →
