Halloween is almost here! I see you shiver with antici…pation. The gayest holiday of the year is the perfect time to live out loud as…
Hostage negotiation is one of the most stressful jobs you could even fathom. With insurmountable pressure to dismantle high stakes standoffs where lives can be…
As a connoisseur of underground hip-hop, I know an Aesop Rock song when I hear it. The internal rhyme structure, the critique of capitalism, the…
It’s almost time for Whore-o-ween, and apparently you are considering dressing as a sexy law enforcement officer. We think that’s a great idea: after all,…
One of my worst fears came true last night when I found a CD of Poison’s “Flesh & Blood” tucked under my son’s bed. My…
Baby, you know I love you and I love our relationship. But something has been eating at me and I have to ask you flat…
It almost happened two years ago, when your daughter asked about a fire-dancer sticker on a Prius, but you diverted her attention by pulling into…
2024 is coming up and a lot of great bands are heading on the road … but Lindsay and Adam just broke up and Lindsay…
We’ve all heard it before: guitar is easy to play, difficult to master, especially for chronic masturbators. However, some of the most ass-kicking riffs in…
Ride ’em in rawhide. From the Rough Riders of the Old West to the wandering yodel of Hank Williams, being a true outlaw is planted…
There’s nothing sadder than finding out someone who sucks at their job was giving it their all, and this also applies to fatherhood. Who could…
My grandpa was one of the coolest, wisest people I’ve even known. He didn’t suffer fools lightly and always taught me to question everything. Also…
Around here, we’re suckers for a feel-good story, but this one really got the waterworks going for us. Dogs may be man’s best friends, but…
For countless, immeasurable eons, we Cenobites have watched humanity and all your little joys and tiny torments. We are demons to some, angels to others.…
When we think of filmmaker Stanley Kubrick’s 1980 masterpiece, The Shining, we all only think of one thing: the actor who played the guy in…