Well, it’s time to grow up, and that means budgeting. When I realized my credit score was supposed to be triple digits, I had to start making some sacrifices. Luckily for me, I realized that I could be a lot more frugal if I cut out literally any and everything that provides me joy.
When I used to go to Trader Joe’s it was a place of magic and whimsy. I brushed my fingertips along the packaging, weighing whether I wanted to buy oat caramel chocolate clusters or ube mochi pancake mix. $4 a piece? Why not both? Why not everything?! But now I just sigh and purchase 5 bags of rice and beans and a bunch of bananas. My pantry looks like it was taken out of The Giver. Or a maximum security Russian prison.
I’m a music lover. I used to attend every live show I could. But concert tickets these days, with those nasty fees? No can do! So I started working as security so I could at least feel the music. Rather than stare into the eyes of the luscious-haired frontman I get to stare at a teenager having heat exhaustion from taking MDMA and not eating dinner. And I get to be jealous of them!
I love working out. Playing beach volleyball, or sunrise yoga. Spin classes gave me a sweaty, sober haven to exercise my body and exorcize some pesky inner demons. But that shit’s expensive. It was either gym membership or car insurance. Now I turn my phone on for an extra 15 minutes outside of the 8 hours I’m already held to a screen and do a monotonous YouTube workout from a girl whose very existence gives me horrendous body dysmorphia, or go outside and run in 40 degree weather while my nose burns from either a need for sunscreen or early stages of hypothermia. At least the runner’s high distracts me from my misery for a sweet 48 seconds.
I am a city person. The movement of the people, the hustle and bustle fills me with a sense of liveliness. The progressive politics too. But New York rent is too much. Los Angeles rent is too much. Even Chicago. So I moved to Oklahoma. Where the rent is low and everyone is high. Because we’re in fucking Oklahoma. I tried to find a community and instead found a raccoon in my car engine.
Speaking of movement, I love to travel. I’ve made it to 41 out of 50 states, and want to get to all 50! I passed through 5 of them while driving to Oklahoma, and almost got stabbed while sleeping in my car on the way over. But hey, wanderlust!
I used to look at my bank account and want to die, but now being dead doesn’t seem all that bad!
