Dearest Katie,
It pains me to have to write you this since we’ve spent so much time together over the past few months, but alas, there’s just no other way. I want you to know that I enjoyed our time getting to know each other so I’ll try to always remember the laughs we shared, not the pain that your higher intelligence caused our relationship.
When I stated in my online profile that I not only liked, but preferred smart women, I assumed it was implied that you’d still have to be the dumber one. I guess message not received. I don’t want you to don’t blame yourself, but certainly don’t blame me. You should be old enough to know that when men say we want a girl with a brain we mean it has to be relative to ours. Then again if you’re so smart maybe you should have seen this coming.
Don’t get me wrong, and please don’t tell your attractive single female friends otherwise, but I am still a fierce feminist ally just like the T-shirts I wear say. I will always support strong-minded, independent, resourceful women. I think this planet needs more of you to finally take down the patriarchy and challenge men’s skewed worldviews, just not when it comes to challenging my specific one. Some things are just better in theory.
If you want some advice for your next relationship, maybe don’t brag about your big brain so much. I didn’t need to know about the books you’ve read, all the diplomas you obtained or the places you’ve been. I’ve been to plenty of exotic places too, but you never seemed interested about my time backpacking in the Dakotas or when I visited the Eiffel Tower in Vegas.
Perhaps our paths will cross again, maybe when we’re a little bit older and blessed with more life experience. How about we make a pact. If we’re both still unmarried in ten years, let’s get married. As long as both of our visions for the future and our expectations in a partner lineup, and obviously as long as your IQ plummets to where we can have a conversation without me having to Google all those big words you like to shove down my throat.
Sincerely,
Brad