Small Midwestern Town Terrorized by Hypebeast
ROKEBY, Neb. — Residents of a sleepy Nebraska town are living in fear of a teenager who recently transformed into…
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The Hard Times Staff — Page 40
917 stories found
Only Straight Edge Guy at Party Forms Lifelong Bond with Host’s Cat
BOSTON — Local straight edger Austin Evans quietly formed an undying, eternal bond at a party last night with Tugger…
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Embarrassed Rick ta Life Finally Notices Spelling Mistake in Band Name
BALTIMORE — Former 25 ta Life frontman Rick Healey, commonly known as Rick ta Life, finally noticed yesterday the obvious…
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True Fan Can’t Believe You Like Band’s Most Popular Song
TACOMA, Wash. — Self-described “true” Jimmy Eat World fan Tom Anderson was disgusted to hear early yesterday morning that you…
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Linkin Park, Evanescence Also Surprised by Emo Night Playlist Appearance
LOS ANGELES — Members of both Linkin Park and Evanescence were just as surprised as anyone else yesterday to find…
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Chivalrous Punk Opens Pit Up for Girlfriend
OXNARD, Calif. — Local gentleman Jay Deme impressed his new girlfriend Lisa Traynor last night by politely opening up a…
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Hardcore Band’s Two Vocalists Deliver Different, Simultaneous Impassioned Speeches
AUSTIN, Texas — Local hardcore band Cheapshot’s vocalists Victoria Weiss and Anthony Byers simultaneously launched into separate, heartfelt speeches between…
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Complete Dolt Trying to Start Circle Pit During Two-Step Part
BERKELEY, Calif. — Total dumbshit motherfucker Bobby Owens attempted to start a circle pit last night during local hardcore band…
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45 Minutes Spent at Goodwill Contemplating Whether to Buy Bongos
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Aspiring musician Evan Wohrman spent the majority of an hour yesterday weighing the pros and cons of…
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Rescue Helicopter Called in to Save Man With Untied Shoe in Pit
HARTFORD, Conn. — An elite extraction unit was called in last night to save local hardcore kid Tom Rodrigues from…
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