Haircut Noticed July 7, 2019 ORLANDO, Fla. — Local medical supply salesman Elliot Harrison’s recent haircut was immediately noticed this morning by coworkers with seemingly… Read More →
Bernie Sanders Launches GoFundMe After Tour Van Stolen Outside Debate June 28, 2019 CHARLESTOWN, S.C. — Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders had his Ford Econoline tour van stolen from outside the Democratic debate earlier… Read More →
Pop-Punk Frontmen Lead Different “Fight for 15” Campaign June 27, 2019 WASHINGTON — Pop-punk frontmen from around the country marched in the nation’s capital today advocating for the federal minimum age… Read More →
Creepy Hardcore Frontman Insistent Band Only Play All-Ages Shows June 21, 2019 OKLAHOMA CITY — After the Hunt singer Joey Balducci maintained his uncomfortable insistence yesterday that his band play exclusively all-ages… Read More →
Heavily Tattooed Band Tired of Being Asked if They Are Chefs June 17, 2019 CHICAGO — Tattooed members of touring hardcore band Sin Eater are reportedly tired of fielding questions as to whether or… Read More →
Band That Tuned by Ear Playing in Standard, Drop C, and a Few Things In-Between June 10, 2019 TRENTON, N.J. — Local hardcore band Open Sesame debuted a unique and unprecedented combination of tunings at their inaugural show… Read More →
Vegan Scientists Predict Third World War Will Be Fought over Oatly June 7, 2019 GENEVA — A recent report from leading vegan scientists indicates the limited supply of dairy milk alternative Oatly could lead… Read More →
Overly Polite Frontman Wants to Know How You Are Doing Tonight, If You Need Water, If You Are Liking New Job June 2, 2019 BERKELEY, Calif. — Right Cross frontman Tony Cooper went well out of his way last night to make sure everyone… Read More →
Male Feminist Mechanic Has Centerfold of Forbes’ “Most Powerful Women” Hanging on Wall May 25, 2019 EUGENE, Ore. — Local mechanic and outspoken male feminist Elias Murphy finally received his copy of Forbes magazine’s “Most Powerful… Read More →
Honest Punk Band Thanks Parents’ Money in Album Liner Notes May 22, 2019 DUXBURY, Mass. — Members of suburban punk band Trash Pirates shocked the underground music world by openly thanking their parents’… Read More →