May 20, 2019
ROKEBY, Neb. — Residents of a sleepy Nebraska town are living in fear of a teenager who recently transformed into…
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May 18, 2019
BOSTON — Local straight edger Austin Evans quietly formed an undying, eternal bond at a party last night with Tugger…
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May 17, 2019
BALTIMORE — Former 25 ta Life frontman Rick Healey, commonly known as Rick ta Life, finally noticed yesterday the obvious…
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May 16, 2019
TACOMA, Wash. — Self-described “true” Jimmy Eat World fan Tom Anderson was disgusted to hear early yesterday morning that you…
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May 12, 2019
LOS ANGELES — Members of both Linkin Park and Evanescence were just as surprised as anyone else yesterday to find…
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May 11, 2019
OXNARD, Calif. — Local gentleman Jay Deme impressed his new girlfriend Lisa Traynor last night by politely opening up a…
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May 10, 2019
AUSTIN, Texas — Local hardcore band Cheapshot’s vocalists Victoria Weiss and Anthony Byers simultaneously launched into separate, heartfelt speeches between…
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May 9, 2019
BERKELEY, Calif. — Total dumbshit motherfucker Bobby Owens attempted to start a circle pit last night during local hardcore band…
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May 7, 2019
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Aspiring musician Evan Wohrman spent the majority of an hour yesterday weighing the pros and cons of…
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May 5, 2019
HARTFORD, Conn. — An elite extraction unit was called in last night to save local hardcore kid Tom Rodrigues from…
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