Jesus Helped Me Quit Alcohol and Now It’s Time for Me To Help Him Do the Same
When I was deep in the throes of my alcohol addiction it felt like there was no hope for me.…
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Stephen Bell — Page 8
95 stories found
Paul McCartney Wishes People Would Ask Him A Question About Wings Every Once in Awhile
RYE, UNITED KINGDOM — Legendary musician and founding member of the Beatles Paul McCartney admitted today that he wished someone…
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Crust Punk Bleeds Out After Flossing Teeth for First Time in 12 Years
TORONTO — Crust punk Seth Ulrich tragically bled to death yesterday after making the unfortunate decision to floss his teeth…
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I Can’t Wait for the Day To Arrive That I Can Go To a Live Concert Again and Leave Because My Anxiety Takes Over
As vaccines against the Covid-19 virus begin distribution one can’t help but have a sense of optimism as the future…
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Blue Whale Ashamed of Its Five-Foot-Long Micropenis
PACIFIC OCEAN — A male blue whale around 600 miles off the coast of the Aleutian Islands is reportedly ashamed…
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Hyenas Storm Pride Rock After Refusing to Accept Scar’s Defeat
PRIDE ROCK — Dozens of hyenas still loyal to Scar attempted and ultimately failed to retake Pride Rock in a…
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Instagram Search History Somehow More Embarrassing Than Porn Search History
HELL, Mich. — Instagram user and avid pornography viewer Eric Stafford found himself more embarrassed yesterday by his Instagram search…
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Ben Shapiro Pulls Pants Down to Ankles Before Peeing in Urinal
LOS ANGELES — Alt-right conservative commentator Ben Shapiro pulled his pants all the way down around his ankles yesterday to…
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Trump Sneaks His Own Name into This Year’s Turkey Pardoning Ceremony
WASHINGTON — Onlookers at the traditional Thanksgiving White House turkey pardoning ceremony were left unsurprised today after President Trump attempted…
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Melania Trump Caught Stuffing Florida Ballot Box With Votes for Biden
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. — First Lady Melania Trump was apprehended by Florida election officials this morning after being caught…
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