Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

July 19, 2019

DETROIT — A group of squatting punks became unwitting participants in the eternal struggle of man-versus-nature last week, as each…

July 19, 2019

JACKSON, Miss. — Loyal Smiths fan Jaden Woods is desperately pushing a conspiracy theory that the real Morrissey died decades…

July 16, 2019

NEW YORK — An alarming new study conducted by a research panel of angry baby boomers found that 82% of…

July 13, 2019

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Guitarist Loyd Schneider raced back and forth between two different venues last night after booking shows…

July 12, 2019

BALTIMORE — Self-proclaimed beer snob Jeremy Drika pretended last night to thoughtfully peruse the beer list at a local brewpub…

July 8, 2019

BOSTON — A legendary and possibly mythical mosher was allegedly spotted last night enjoying a four-course French meal in the…

July 8, 2019

TUCKER, Ga. — Punk Ollie Boyer turned around a framed photo on his nightstand last night of punk rock icon…

July 6, 2019

SARASOTA, Fla — Local man Daniel Mulrennan made a potentially friendship-damaging mistake moments ago, blurting out, “I can’t make it”…

July 4, 2019

WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Local punk Niles Torsten displayed the “LOV” and “HAT” tattoos on his gnarled fingers last night…

July 2, 2019

ELLICOTT CITY, Md. — Teenage punk and C+ student Geoff Berger was given a second yearbook photo this week to…