Jonah Nink, Author at HARDTIMES

August 13, 2021

Woah, woah, woah. Anchors down. Full stop. Just because I have mutton chops and happen to be standing on a…

June 7, 2021

Despite being a major campaign promise, student debt cancellation of any kind was noticeably absent from President Biden’s recently proposed…

June 5, 2021

HOLLYWOOD — Shortly after its acquisition by Amazon, MGM and Eon Productions announced this morning that the next James Bond…

April 12, 2021

CHICAGO — Local bassist Tim Bolz announced this morning that he has “still got it” after remembering how to play…

March 30, 2021

My son’s hazing death was tragic and terrifying. No parent should ever have to bury their child. But was it…

March 25, 2021

Lowering infection rates, more vaccinations and a healthy crowd of people inside Applebee’s can only mean one thing; Quarantine is…

February 26, 2021

Much like TV, ice cream, and porn, pets exist solely to distract us from the inevitability of death. Well, until…

February 16, 2021

DENVER — Local Weezer fan Andy Chaplin ate mosquitos, lampreys and other parasites off of local Pantera fan Chad Stern’s…

January 24, 2021

LOS ANGELES — Local Boy Scout Matthew Bolz allegedly did not realize that the old woman he aided across the…

January 19, 2021

WASHINGTON — Capitol security officials announced this morning that the inauguration of President-elect Joe Biden will be secured by 25,000…