Report: 12% of Nation’s Disposable Income Spent On Ability to Stream “The Office”
LOS ANGELES — A study from the TV ratings conglomerate Nielsen found that Americans spend an average of 12% of…
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James Knapp — Page 25
317 stories found
Punk House Ashtray Rotated to Less Full Side for Company
CUMBERLAND, Md. — Residents of local punk house the Couch Arsenal rotated the only ashtray on the premises yesterday to…
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Inconsiderate Roommate Drinks Last Beer in Fridge, Fucks Your Girlfriend
LEMOYNE, Penn. — Roommate and all-around jackass Glen Sullivan reportedly drank the last beer in the house moments after having…
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Regal Cinemas Asks to Borrow Friend’s HBO Max Login
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Regal Cinemas CFO David Ownby asked his friend and HBO Max subscriber Richard Lansing yesterday to please…
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Will It Even Feel Like Christmas if I Can’t Sit With My Family in Total Silence While My Father Watches TV and Drinks Bourbon?
The Covid-19 pandemic has drastically altered how we celebrate special occasions with our loved ones and now that's it's impacted…
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Newly Sober Frontman Realizes He’s Been Singing in Ska Band for Past 13 Years
SEATTLE — Singer Ryan Kemper’s commitment to a sober lifestyle brought an alarming realization yesterday: his band of more than…
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Metalhead Accidentally Chugs Bottle of Shampoo Instead of 22 oz. Coors He Brought Into Shower
DALEVILLE, Va. — Local metal fan Cliff Gallaway mistakenly drank an entire bottle of high-end shampoo in the shower this…
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Drum Solo Enjoyed by Drummer
PHILADELPHIA — An impromptu drum solo performed by Dana “Quick Sticks” Ansen was “thoroughly enjoyed” by her, and her only,…
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Quiz: You Ever Get So Drunk That You Forget You’re at CVS and Also on Acid
Oh man, I shouldn’t have done that last Jaegerbomb. Or the seven before that one. Or those eleven Heinekens afterward.…
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Teen Hearing First Metal Record Spontaneously Grows Thin, Weird Mustache
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local 13-year-old Damien Glass suddenly sprouted a pencil-line mustache yesterday moments into his first listen of Motorhead’s…
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