BALTIMORE — Touring garage-rock band Bananther reportedly made bassist Mike Sutherland order off the Denny’s kids’ menu in an effort to cut spending costs after…
KENT, Conn. — Local shoplifter and psychological mastermind Wendy “Sticky Fingers” Hartley reportedly bought a 35-cent pack of Big Red chewing gum yesterday to distract…
CLEVELAND — Involuntarily celibate churchgoer Donald Bates resolved today that, in observance of Lent, he will abstain from all sexual interaction, changing absolutely nothing about…
BEL AIR, Md. — A Tinder date between “Bloody” Mary Wolski and certifiable poser Jared VanAuden ended abruptly moments ago thanks to VanAuden’s errant claim…
Anarcho-punk is deeply rooted in left-wing politics and DIY culture. Few other genres of music can boast the same dedication. However, it can be hard…
RAVENNA, Ohio — 12-year-old punk attending his first show Dalton Stahl was overjoyed last weekend meeting the lead singer of local band Swarthy Dave &…
NEW YORK — Local coroner and punk Wayne “Bonecracker” Davis frustrated his colleagues last week, repeatedly pushing back the time of death for an unnamed…
WHEELING, W.V. — Bassist George Atkins was abandoned yesterday by his thrash band Rocket Bulge at the side entrance of South Wheeling Technical Academy, bringing…
Oh, dear. Well, Billy, you’re in a bit of a precarious situation here. Damn, this jump looked way narrower from down there. Ah, shit! Are…
SEATTLE — Local man Evan Sobitski is terrified at the moment that he’s about to get in an actual, physical fight after challenging a stranger…
We here at The Hard Times have always been fascinated with the thought experiment that if you give a monkey a typewriter and an infinite…
HOUSTON — Self-proclaimed “bad boy of outer space” Willis McReady cost the National Aeronautics and Space Administration approximately $3.4 million last week, cutting the sleeves…
We Built This City on Nu Metal and Now Our Entire Public Works Budget Is Devoted to JNCOs and Salvia
We Built This City on Nu Metal and Now Our Entire Public Works Budget Is Devoted to JNCOs and Salvia
Most called us crazy when we initially came up with a plan to build an entire city based around an early 2000’s alternative metal genre.…
ERIE, Penn. — Local punk Jackson McCreedy is thought to be “rolling in dough” today, as his old Asian Man Records poster is now encased…
HIAWASSEE, Ga. — Local mom Camille Belvin shared a charming anecdote during a family dinner last night about an event from which her daughter has…