Review: The Get Up Kids “Four Minute Mile”
Each week The Hard Times looks back on a notable album from punk history. This week we took an extended…
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James Knapp — Page 14
319 stories found
Record Number of Millennials Consider Suicide Cult From Midsommar to Be Retirement Plan
HALSINGLAND, Sweden — A new study revealed that the vast majority of individuals aged 26 to 42 consider the acid…
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10 Other Things You’ll Have To Pry From My Cold, Dead Hands
I know how this scheme works, you liberal cucks. First you wanna take away my beloved machine guns, which I…
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Review: AFI “Bodies”
This week we decided to take a look at AFI’s trace-punk opus “Bodies,” and in the process we were whisked…
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Drug Dealer Saved In Phone As “Ben Cocaine”
DURHAM, N.C. — Local drug hookup Benjamin Wertner is reportedly only known to clients by his first name and one…
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Well, It’s Been 25 Years, but I’ve Finally Decided Which Reel Big Fish Tattoo I Should Get
I bet you thought I’d never do it. In fact, I'm pretty sure we did bet on it. Well, two…
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Punk House Residents Stand on Widow’s Walk Awaiting Return of Long Lost Roommate With That Other 30 Pack They All Chipped in For
SWAMPSCOTT, Mass. — Residents of local punk house The Swamp were recently spotted tearfully eyeing the horizon in anticipation of…
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Review: Social Distortion “Hard Times and Nursery Rhymes”
Each week, The Hard Times travels back and revisits a notable album from punk history. Except for this week, when…
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Punk House Residents Go On Goonies-esque Adventure Trying to Locate Fuse Box
PARAMUS, N.J. — Residents of local punk house “The Crows Nest” recently undertook a harrowing, coming-of-age adventure as they attempted…
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We Wrote the Great American Novel, but We Did It by Holding the Pen Between Our Buttcheeks and Crabwalking Over Graph Paper So No Publisher Will Touch It
What the hell happened to literature in this country? When Kerouac wrote “On the Road” in one three-week-long amphetamine binge,…
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