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Review: The Get Up Kids “Four Minute Mile”

Each week The Hard Times looks back on a notable album from punk history. This week we took an extended look at The Get Up Kids’ debut album “Four Minute Mile” because our mom cleaned out the basement and asked if we wanted any of our old CDs.

We were apprehensive at first, particularly because we thought we had blocked her number after she kept sending us links to anti-vax articles that all included a misspelled version of “variolation.” But after she listed off a few of the titles from our hard copy collection, which featured such gems as Everclear’s “So Much For the Afterglow” and the Malcolm In the Middle soundtrack, we decided the time was right to revisit the landmark emo album while we sifted through the rest of the repurposed OfficeMax box full of junk she dumped on us.

The album’s lead off track “Coming Clean” is the perfect reflection on past mistakes, as well as the ideal background music to have on as we uncovered our old pog collection and wondered why in the hell mom thought she had to save them all these years. They weren’t even valuable to us when they were new.

The Kids really cement their sound on tracks like “Don’t Hate Me” and “Stay Gold, Ponyboy,” which made us nostalgic for the whole second wave of midwest emo. What did not make us nostalgic, however, was the nine pairs of JNCOs we were forced to acknowledge were once a major aspect of our personality as we dug them out of the box. Please don’t judge us.

The standout track from the record is most likely “Shorty,” and when it came on we were instantly transported back to the summer of ‘97. We then immediately got an all-consuming desire to leave that transportation after we heard the electronic mewling of our old Tamagotchi, which had apparently remained alive and suffering nearly three decades later.

Needless to say, the box must now be destroyed along with whatever other remnant of our late ‘90s self is contained within. Anyways though, “Four Minute Mile” held up okay.

SCORE: 8 out of 10 regrettable ‘90s fads