Introvert Really Hoping No One Remembers Her Birthday This Year
BALTIMORE — Local introvert Katie Pidacter quietly hoped yesterday that no one would remember her birthday this year, in order…
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Bobby Korec
337 stories found
Man at Super Bowl Party Will Have You Know Football Means Something Different for Rest of World
PHILADELPHIA — Friend-of-a-friend and uninvited Super Bowl party guest Bartholomew Youngblood just wants everyone to know that the word “football”…
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“Best Alternative Music Album” Grammy Winner Somehow Produced by A24
LOS ANGELES — The winner of the “Best Alternative Music Album” at the 62nd Annual Grammy Awards was allegedly produced…
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I Went Down on Dave Coulier in a Theater but You Don’t See Me Writing Songs About It
It’s time to set the record straight. Back in the early 90s, Dave Coulier was an unrelenting whore and everyone…
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“Daft Punk Is Playing at My House” and Other Times LCD Soundsystem Were Lying Sacks of Shit
As one of the few people in this world that genuinely listens to lyrics and pays attention to song titles,…
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5 Ways to Practice Self-Love That Pretty Much Only Work If You’re Rich and Super Hot
Us rich and hot people receive so much love on a daily basis that we often forget practicing self-love is…
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Town Still Ravaged Decades After Dookie Airstrike of ’94
BERKELEY, Calif. — A small town in the East Bay region of California is still completely devastated and covered in…
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Scientists Discover Theoretical Fourth Thing To Do With Hands During Show
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Behavioral scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology announced a breakthrough discovery of a theoretical fourth option…
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Man Reading Alone at Bar Prefers to Drink Alone at Library
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local man Greg Kaiters enjoyed reading a nice chapter from a book at the Bridgetown Rose Saloon…
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We Sat Down With My Bloody Valentine Only to Realize Halfway Through They Were Bullet for My Valentine
Shoegaze pioneers My Bloody Valentine changed music forever with their genre-defining album "Loveless." As it turns out, their name bears…
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