Conservatives Demand Representation With Openly Racist Marvel Hero
FORT MEYERS, Fla. — Conservative advocacy group Bring Back America’s Heroes petitioned Marvel to update their roster of heroes with…
Read More →
Ben Friedman — Page 26
311 stories found
Hundreds of Nuclear Weapons Documents Found at Mar-a-Lago with Hillary Clinton’s Name Hastily Scribbled on Them
PALM BEACH, Fla. –The Federal Bureau of Investigation recovered stacks of highly-classified nuclear weapons documents with “Hillary Clinton” written in…
Read More →
If You Want To Destroy My Sweater, You’ll Have To Face Me in Hand to Hand Combat
Hey man, long time no see! I didn’t know you were invited to the after-party. Small world, huh? Did you…
Read More →
Opinion: I Know Exactly What This Quaint Little Farmers Market Needs. A Fucking DJ
As I stroll through this quaint suburban farmers market, I have this nagging feeling that something is missing. Sure there…
Read More →
Neoliberal Punks Suggest Meeting Nazi Punks Half Way
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — The music scene was left reeling yesterday after a contingency of neoliberal punks suggested meeting Nazi punks…
Read More →
Demon Begs Priest to Exorcise Him From Crust Punk’s Body
WASHINGTON — Abaddon the Destroyer, an immortal demon from the deepest depths of hell, begged an exorcist to free him…
Read More →
Hawkins Teen Opts to Die in the Upside Down Rather than Admit Favorite Song is Wang Chung’s “Everybody Have Fun Tonight”
HAWKINS, Ind. — Local high school senior Jenny Dowd, currently trapped in the parallel universe of the Upside Down, opted…
Read More →
Punk Celebrates Six Year LinkedIn Anniversary at “Unemployed”
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Marcus “Moose” Crawford took time to celebrate on LinkedIn his six-year anniversary at “Unemployed,” acquaintances within…
Read More →
Punk House Tightens Belt, Switches to Kirkland Signature Whippets
BAYONNE, N.J. — Residents of local punk house The Dry Socket made the cost-cutting decision to switch to Kirkland Signature…
Read More →
Uh Oh! Conor Oberst and Phoebe Bridgers Dig Your Vibe and Want To Buy You a Drink
So you’re blowing off steam after work at an LA Dive bar when you notice, more than a few times,…
Read More →