TORONTO — A recent Tegan and Sara show was allegedly sabotaged by their mischievous doppelgangers WaTegan and SaraLuigi, event coordinators reported.
“They think they’re so cool with their pop hooks and LGBTQ+ icon status, while my sister and I get punished for being straight sousaphone players. And now they also get a TV show when we went to the same high school too! It’s only natural that we fuck with them over and over,” said evil twin WaTegan. “Our plan has been to follow their tour and mess with every aspect of the show, like improving their posters with mustaches, locking roadies in cases, and programming every keyboard to only play the Marimba presets. I’m-a WaTegan and I’m-a gonna win! Wahaha!”
Tegan and Sara have been attempting to stave off their prankster adversaries for years without any luck.
“I always thought we were just having run-of-the-mill, Spinal Tap-esque touring mishaps because you know, that’s show business. But it was when we were touring for The Con we realized those dickriding copycats from senior year were fucking with us. Like the time in Philly we were playing the Electric Factory, and they were out front telling people the show was moved to an abandoned warehouse,” said Sara Quin. “They crossed the line at the last gig though, they set up a fake meet and greet and straight up berated our fans for 20 minutes before robbing them. Like, get a fucking life!”
Veteran showrunner Anne Jaeger has developed contingency plans for bands dealing with passionately dedicated troublemakers.
“Fans and trolls are always trying to sneak into shows for a thrill. These interlopers are pretty damn crafty, I mean they look like the real twins but with mustaches. We all thought Tegan and Sara were doing a bit until we heard them laugh like maniacs in a supply closet,” said Jaeger. “This is why we make sure we have our eye on the real talent at all times. I learned my lesson the hard way after the Shadow Ted Leo incident. It took us hours to powerwash all his graffiti off the rafters.”
Midway through the show, WaTegan and SaraLuigi burst onto the stage and challenged their rivals to final, winner-take-all matches of tennis, golf, and go-karts.