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Review: Descendents “Enjoy”

Each week, The Hard Times travels back and reviews a notable album from the past. This time around we’re taking a look at Descendents’ third studio album “Enjoy!”

This classic album has it all. Punk riffs, catchy hooks, and even scatological humor. One could say it is the perfect album. Until, of course, you take a closer look at the album cover art. Sure, at first glance it may seem like an innocuous image of a full roll of toilet paper ready for immediate use. But then you realize that the toilet paper roll is on backward. Backward, right!?

Now, we all know that the Descendents are notorious for taking controversial stances in their work. Look no further than their positions on not wanting to grow up, everything sucking, and something called “bikeage.” Clearly bold statements in their own rights.

But with “Enjoy!” the band is telling the world that everything you believe to be true about staging household goods in your bathroom is horse crap. Turns out, my shithead roommate Kevin also believes the same thing about which direction the toilet paper goes. That makes our apartment pure anarchy. I hate that guy.

Like, do the Descendents also believe in eating my leftover roast beef hoagie that was in the fridge and clearly had my name on it that I was really looking forward to the other day, like Kevin clearly does? Well, do they!?

Then instead of doing the dishes yesterday, Kevin just tossed them in the trash. Who throws out perfectly good Solo plastic cups? You can reuse those for all of your drinking receptacle and party game needs. Kind of relieved the Descendents didn’t comment on dish culture in this album.

Long story short, Kevin would probably love this album cover. Classic Kev.

Anyway, if anyone needs a new apartment, I’m looking for a new roommate just in case Kevin has been getting my passive-aggressive hints that he needs to leave. My only requirement is that my new roommate is on the same page about which direction the toilet paper goes. So, if you’re a member of the Descendents, you need not apply.

SCORE: 5 out of 5 for the music and 0 out of 5 for the triggering cover art.