Dustin Meadows
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I came to Vatican City to pay my respects to the all-time metal God, Ronnie James Dio, and I expected…
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John Danek
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LAFAYETTE, La. — Exalted indie musicians Justin Vernon, popularly known as Bon Iver, and Sufjan Stevens reportedly had an unexpected,…
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Ted Pillow
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Congrats to the Southport High School graduating class of 2005! Remember how you all wrote “Never change!” in the yearbook…
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Nathan Kamal
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CHICAGO — Perpetually lonely heterosexual man Cliff Parker is living under the mistaken assumption that he would be getting a…
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Dan Rice
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The kettlebell is having a real moment right now, and for once you can believe the hype! A kettlebell's unique…
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Dustin Meadows
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DES MOINES, Iowa — Liz Connelly, a second-year Applebee’s employee, refused to show three members of nü-metal octet Slipknot to…
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Jerrod Kingery
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COMMON BEAGLE SMALL INTESTINE — Health authorities called upon legendary white blood cell police officer Osmosis Jones to come out…
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Freelancer
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AUSTIN, Texas — Local horny-as-hell woman Wendy Charleton fears what might happen if she were to get drunk alone with…
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Dan Rice
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Yes, before you ask, these are bed bug bites all over my body, and no, I do not need the…
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Dustin Meadows
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WINNIPEG, Manitoba — Canadian classic rock band Bachman-Turner Overdrive announced around the crack of noon that they will not be…
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