John Sevigne
•
June 10, 2021
DUCKBURG, Calisota — Multi-billionaire businessfowl Scrooge McDuck is questioning his decision to convert his wealth to cryptocurrency after realizing he…
Read More →
Janson Prieb
•
June 10, 2021
Alright, now I'm starting to get skeptical. I went in here to take a piss during this Battle of the…
Read More →
Nathan Kamal
•
June 10, 2021
HOUSTON — Famed environmental superhero and holographic android Captain Planet announced he would be accepting a position as a paid…
Read More →
Nathan Kamal
•
June 10, 2021
Studies show pets often take on the characteristics and habits of their owners. Okay, well if that’s true, then my…
Read More →
Nick Ortolani
•
June 10, 2021
SASKATOON — Violence nearly erupted following an argument between a local Canadian and a visiting metalhead over the cultural origins…
Read More →
John Danek
•
June 9, 2021
DENVER — Local man Ian Vernor horrified his roommates yesterday by inauspiciously sniffing his pointer and middle fingers, recoiling in…
Read More →
Dan Luberto
•
June 9, 2021
STUDIO CITY, Calif. — Popular game show “Jeopardy!” ceased filming mid-episode last week when contestant and off-duty police officer Jamie…
Read More →
Parker Newman
•
June 9, 2021
The term “toxic masculinity” gets tossed around pretty casually these days but, for good reason. We are living in a…
Read More →
Krissy Howard
•
June 9, 2021
RIDGEWOOD, N.Y. — Local creep Lance Weems narrowly squeezed past two women at a limited capacity venue last night despite…
Read More →
Patrick Coyne
•
June 8, 2021
Everybody just be cool, okay?! The doors are locked and chained from the outside, and nobody is leaving this blackbox…
Read More →
