Patrick Coyne
•
ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local man and alleged “Dove Soap-loving jagoff” Dan Paulson thinks he’s “king shit of hygiene town”…
Read More →
Dan Kozuh
•
I have always been sensitive to the emotions of people around me. When a baby cries, I cry. When someone…
Read More →
LONDON — Oasis founding member Liam Gallagher has tested positive for COVID-19, and is finally willing to reconcile with his…
Read More →
Mark Roebuck
•
GRAPEVINE, Texas — As the COVID-19 pandemic continues with no signs of slowing down, GameStop has announced that its patented…
Read More →
Jimmy Beliakoff
•
LOS ANGELES — Dave Gordon expressed skepticism at purchasing a $1 app on his phone unless it would bring lifelong,…
Read More →
John Merrifield
•
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local 32-year-old Brendan Muller decided today that he will stand perfectly still whenever he is in the…
Read More →
Nick Ortolani
•
PLAINSVILLE, Iowa — Local virgin Andy Wardell grew concerned yesterday that his future sexual intercourse may resemble the acts described…
Read More →
Nick Ortolani
•
ATHENS, Ga. — A boomer-aged couple announced today their coordinated effort to vote in the upcoming presidential election for the…
Read More →
Dan Kozuh
•
For generations, scientists have attempted to assess the intelligence of chimpanzees. We have discovered they are able to use tools,…
Read More →
Rob Walker
•
HOUSTON — Rap artist and entrepreneur Chamillionaire, known for his hit single “Ridin’,” only paid a chahundred dollars in taxes…
Read More →
