Dan Tomascik
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May 21, 2020
ATLANTA — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention are confirming that, following several states’ pushes to reopen,…
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Collin Brown
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May 21, 2020
WALPOLE, N.H. — Finding himself with much more free time while social distancing, award-winning documentarian Ken Burns has finally found…
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BURBANK, Calif. — Top HBO executives became convinced to release the famous “Snyder Cut” of 2017’s Justice League after realizing…
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Tom Peters
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May 21, 2020
DALLAS — Local small aircraft pilot Skippy Barnes is supplementing his skywriting income with a clandestine, government-backed chemical-spraying side gig,…
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Ed Saincome
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May 21, 2020
All people must unify now! Dammit, this virus doesn’t care what your race is! It will harm you and your…
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LOS ANGELES — Local woman Mattie Foster, known for her drunken outbursts at shows, is now simply loud and wasted…
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ENCINITAS, Calif. — Professional skateboarder Tony Hawk has reportedly been telling friends and fans that he landed a “20,000,” a…
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KANSAS CITY — Reports are coming in that the board game you spent $60 on that your friends never want…
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Let me start by saying I love my quirky boyfriend. When we met he told me he had obsessive-compulsive disorder.…
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BLOOMINGTON, Minn. — A quarantined couple stuck in the same house under self-isolation since March ended their one-and-a-half year-long relationship…
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