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Lonely Tony Hawk Swears He Landed a 20,000

ENCINITAS, Calif. — Professional skateboarder Tony Hawk has reportedly been telling friends and fans that he landed a “20,000,” a physically impossible trick where one spins in a full circle 55.56 times before landing.

“I really landed a 20,000,” said Hawk, when pressed about the statement. “I was on the halfpipe in a public skatepark and I got a ton of air off of one jump. So I grabbed and just started spinning until I spun exactly 500 ninths of a circle. And yeah, that’s right, I said public skatepark. No one recognized me. No one paid attention. No one friggin’ cares about me, anymore. Sorry you missed it, but it’s true. I hit a 20,000.”

Those close to Hawk say that this is not the first time the skateboarder has claimed to have done an impossible trick for attention.

“Whenever he gets lonely, Tony starts to make up tricks he did. I think part of him is still chasing the high he got from hitting that first 900. But a 900 is not a 20,000,” said Hawk’s wife, Catherine Goodman. “At least this time it sounded like a real trick. In the past, he would just make up names. A few months ago, he swore to me that he landed a ‘twisty misty nose mc mister flip.’ Not a thing! He couldn’t even describe it when I questioned him. Now I just say, ‘that’s nice sweetie,’ and let him have his moment.”

“Tony is always going to act out as long as people at airports don’t recognize him,” she added. “So get used to it.”

 

At press time, Activision sent a cease and desist letter to Hawk, who kept insisting there were remasters of his games Tony Hawk Pro Skater 1 and Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 coming out this fall, despite no evidence of that happening.

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