Chandler Dean
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March 26, 2020
HUNTSVILLE, Texas — Roommates Audley Stoddard, Jay Heath, and Corwin Reed have announced their intention to continue regularly using a…
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John Danek
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March 26, 2020
LOS ANGELES — Quarantined Los Angelino Freddy Garcia has spent a majority of his COVID-19 isolation time pleasuring himself to…
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John Dixon
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March 26, 2020
TOKYO — Popular manga Brave Fighter’s Journey was recently put on hiatus by its publisher as writer and artist Okobo…
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Jon Wood
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March 26, 2020
As a proud member of the alt-right (and recent college graduate with a degree in English Literature thank you very…
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PHILADELPHIA — Outspoken supporters of Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden, known as “Biden Bros,” are reportedly harassing potential voters via…
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Mark Roebuck
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March 26, 2020
THE CITY — A hired goon taking cover behind a crate made a fatal error and left his ankle exposed,…
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Dan Rice
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March 26, 2020
When coronavirus first reared it’s ugly, highly-contagious head, you panicked and started hoarding as many home essentials as you could…
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Jerrod Kingery
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March 26, 2020
AUSTIN, Texas — Social media marketing manager Anthony Skipper forwarded a complaint about his tortimese housecat Nickels moments ago to…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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March 26, 2020
WASHINGTON — Members of the Democratic National Committee expressed frustration about the annoying escort mission to get former vice president…
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Chandler Dean
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March 25, 2020
DIMEBOX, Texas — As she attempted to locate another power supply that’s actually still in regular rotation, local gamer Willoughby…
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