September 2019 - Page 10 of 18

Menzingers Get Great Idea for Song After Seeing Friend Smoke Cigarette

Tucker Leighty-Phillips • September 15, 2019

PHILADELPHIA — Pennsylvania punk act The Menzingers are reportedly hard at work on a new song after seeing their close…

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God Confirms Bible Takes Place in ‘Spy Kids’ Universe

Jonah Nink • September 15, 2019

LOS ANGELES — After years of speculation, God finally confirmed at a press conference today that the events of the…

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MIT Physicists Describe a Theoretical Fifth Loko

John Danek • September 15, 2019

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s Department of Physics announced today the theoretical discovery of the…

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Opinion: Wouldn’t It Be Funny if We Left It in the Recording

Eric Navarro • September 15, 2019

It’s hard to express how surreal it feels to be in a real recording studio with a real producer. After…

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Former Mall Goths Now Mostly Amazon Prime Goths

Elizabeth Teets • September 15, 2019

NEW YORK — A joint study released today by researchers at Consumer Reports and The Goth Advocate pinpointed an alarming…

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Emma Stone Hired to Release Statement on Behalf of Chinese-Americans Regarding Shane Gillis SNL Contract

Jon Wood • September 14, 2019

LOS ANGELES — Columbia Pictures announced they have hired Emma Stone to represent the collective voice of the Chinese-American community…

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Masked Intruder Apprehended by Bad Cop/Bad Cop

Jay Chanoine • September 14, 2019

SAN FRANCISCO — Members of Masked Intruder were placed under citizen’s arrest today by fellow punk band Bad Cop/Bad Cop…

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Mid-30s Punk Finally Bonds With Grandparents Over All Their Friends Dying

Tiana Miller • September 14, 2019

BOCA RATON, Fla. — Local punk Divida “Ratkeys” Pilucci was pleasantly surprised this summer upon returning home and finally connecting…

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Opinion: We Must Make S the First and Most Powerful Letter in the Alphabet

Ace Watkins • September 14, 2019

We all know the expression, “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.” Well if I…

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Heartbreaking: Rodney Mullen Has Been Trapped Doing the Same Manual for Twelve Years

Tucker Leighty-Phillips • September 14, 2019

Many millennial skateboarders probably remember the freestyle antics of legendary street skateboarder Rodney Mullen, a mainstay in selection screens of…

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