LOS ANGELES — Have Heart were forced to play within the cramped quarters of the drum riser because of roughly…
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Peter Casciato
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AMAZON RAINFOREST — In a solemn press conference staged outside their lavish rainforest bungalow, the world’s billionaires have announced that…
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WHITMAN, Mass. — Local punk Bobby Deitz was disappointed last Friday by the Hardcore Sorting Hat, which placed him into…
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Anna Walsh
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SEATTLE — Vertex Solutions employee and local bassist Gretchen Garcia is leading the fight to expand paid leave to musicians…
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Tom Peters
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I love to travel. Travel is the first interest listed on all my dating apps, right above Cards Against Humanity,…
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Ella Gale
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AUSTIN, Texas — Local gamer Kaylie Terline was reportedly thrilled to hear that Netflix is producing an animated Cuphead show…
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SALT LAKE CITY — Employees of a local Goodwill thrift store reported a loud disturbance today, as a woman discovered…
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Kevin Flynn
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KYOTO — A Nintendo video presentation Tuesday morning unveiled the Nintendo Switch Heavy, a new model of the console specifically…
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Leo Schuehle
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MILLWOOD, Wash. — Residents of Millwood, Wash. are reportedly confused by local pop-punk band Pacific Standard, with citizens collectively wondering…
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M.J. Amory
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WASHINGTON — Freshman Republican Senator from Missouri, Josh Hawley, discovered a box in his bed that said it contained a…
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