Literally A Koala
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DENVER — Local man Cory McCann is ready to settle down and meet “the one” person he’ll spend the rest…
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Lana Schwartz
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CHICAGO — Local Pavement fan Nathan Matthews added Pavement lyrics to his Tinder profile yesterday, hoping to attract a woman…
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Local marketing associate and Black person Imani Phillips found yesterday that her iPhone X’s storage is almost…
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Krissy Howard
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BOISE, Idaho — Local bored woman Mona Trevino has quietly re-followed all of the messy, oversharing friends on Facebook she…
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Lauren Lavín
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SACRAMENTO — Local woman Lena Wright was charged with resisting arrest yesterday for fighting back against the armed, plainclothes rapist…
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Anthony Robinson
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NEW YORK — Local white woman Rebecca Shulz went viral today after calling The Police a better band than The…
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LOS ANGELES — Local punk and tall guy Michael Snyder replaced standing in front of his short girlfriend Anna Nelson…
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Taylor Roebuck
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LANSING, Mich. — Local punk Diana Spalsbury purchased 100 boxes of semi-permanent hair dye yesterday, just for the pair of…
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James Knapp
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BOSTON — Local woman Farrah Johanson assured anyone who would listen yet again today that she is masturbating just as…
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Taylor Roebuck
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DETROIT — Local woman and anxiety-haver Amanda Hamilton was spotted yesterday weighing all possible options for her evening plans before…
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