The Hard Times Staff
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SACRAMENTO, Calif. — California Governor Gavin Newsom declared a state of emergency after realizing it's been well over two weeks…
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Mac McCarthy
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How has it already been 25 years since 1999? 25 years since you were a naive pre-teen who hadn't yet…
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Sean Fallon
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BOULDER, Colo. — Local man and obvious liar, Benjamin Walters, who was recently diagnosed with COVID, claims to have caught…
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Ben Friedman
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Hey bud, haven’t seen you around in a while, oh, you've been isolating! Didn’t know you could wait tables from…
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Camden Brazile
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PITTSBURGH — A local bouncer at the popular nightclub Shotbar manned his post last night with the adamant mindset to…
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Patrick Crooks
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SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Clay Horton briefly paused fellating a complete stranger at a glory hole in an area…
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Jerrod Kingery
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COMMON BEAGLE SMALL INTESTINE — Health authorities called upon legendary white blood cell police officer Osmosis Jones to come out…
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Freelancer
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AUSTIN, Texas — Local horny-as-hell woman Wendy Charleton fears what might happen if she were to get drunk alone with…
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The Hard Times Staff
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UKIAH, Calif. — Local showgoer Ernie Morales lamented the fact he is almost certainly contracting the coronavirus delta variant while…
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The Hard Times Staff
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ATHENS, Ga. — Touring COVID strain Delta Variant surprised showgoers after being added to a sold-out show at local punk…
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