CHICAGO — Festival attendee Darryl Lynch is struggling to piece together the past 24 hours after consuming several beers before eating a meal and blacking…
LAKEVILLE, Ind. – Townsfolk are bracing for waves of fiery lust caused by local sex symbol Scott Bailey’s distended, green Godsmack bellybutton tattoo as shirtless…
LAKEWOOD, Colo. — Local man Sean Richard is already showing signs of severe infection while getting a stick and poke tattoo from a close friend…
EUGENE, Ore. — Lesbian-owned tattoo parlor Rock Scissored Paper offers its dedicated clientele a variety of tattoo options as long as they are Celtic knots…
ST. LOUIS – Local line cook Reuben Gunnels updated his extensive resume by adding a fourth tattoo of a knife to his arm in hopes…
For me, this time of year is peak body modification season. My seasonal depression is tapering off and the financial windfall that will come from…
In what can only be described as a Christmas miracle, the holiday news cycle has brought us yet another heartwarming tale of how love can…
ORLEANS, Mass. — Local tattoo enthusiast Danny Lipinski’s latest tattoo depicting the cast of “Friends” engaged in a pansexual orgy is being described as “an…
NEWPORT NEWS, Va. — Jenny Fitzsimmons allowed her husband Alfred to remove the enigmatic green ribbon she’s worn around her neck since the first day…
HOPKINGTON, Mass. — Local creep Brad Hinton announced his plans to run a full marathon, moments after seeing a woman with visible tattoos 26.2 miles…
SAN FRANCISCO — Big-city punk Oliver Lewis recently got the name of his hometown, “Kingston,” tattooed across his stomach despite not visiting the Massachusetts town…
Ow! Seriously, that really fucking hurts! It feels like you’re slowly slitting my bicep with a hot, wet scalpel. I guess now I know how…
In the wake of the COVID-19 virus, a record number of Americans are choosing to change career paths. If you’re one of those people, that…
HENDERSON, Nev. — A local punk found dead under an overpass with no phone or ID was quickly identified by friends after they recognized her…
Drat! For once in my gadbum life, I was being responsible. I finally did the adult thing and paid a farking paunchload of cash to…