Sleep Tag Archives - Page 2

Aging Doom Metal Drummer Not Able To Play as Slow as They Used To

Cory Cousins • August 5, 2023

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. — Local doom metal legend Ted Halverson, the skinsman for classic doom outfits such as Snore and Prophet…

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Metalhead Won’t Stop Using “Dopesmoker Listens” as Unit of Time Measurement

Joe Rumrill • March 11, 2023

DURHAM, N.C. — Local stoner metal aficionado Ennis Woltham is reportedly perplexing those around him by constantly using “Dopesmoker Listens”…

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5 Sleeping Hacks That Only Work If You Take Xanax First

Dom Turek • February 17, 2023

They say you spend one-third of your life sleeping, but if you're a chronic insomniac like me, you probably spend…

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Man Sneaks Thermos of Sleepytime Tea Into Grouper Show

Patrick Coyne • January 18, 2023

RICHMOND, Va. — Local indie pop fan Damon Thomson successfully snuck a contraband thermos of Celestial Seasonings’ Sleepytime Tea past…

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Studies Confirm Average Punk Eats Between Five and Seven Cigarettes in Their Sleep Annually

Matt Bieker • November 29, 2022

PHILADELPHIA — Researchers at Johns Hopkins University confirmed the average American punk consumes a half-dozen cigarettes in their sleep throughout…

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Aging Fans Spend Most of Show Discussing Best Route Home

Doug Kolic • November 26, 2022

LA MESA, Calif. – A group of 38-year-olds attending last night’s Social Narcolepsy gig reportedly spent the entire show discussing…

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How To Build Your Life Around 8 Perfect Hours of Sleep Each Night, According to This Venture Capitalist That Crushes 5 Emails a Week

Scott Murray • August 27, 2022

Are you feeling tired? Is your body failing you in strange ways? If you’re looking for the secret to youth…

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Band Really Riding Line Between Being on Tour and Being Homeless

Patrick Coyne • August 16, 2022

INDIANAPOLIS — Allegedly touring pop punk band Deaf Hippos is really blurring the line between actively playing shows outside their…

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34-Year-Old Sends “You Up?” Text at 9:30 PM

Zach Hudson • May 27, 2022

NACOGDOCHES, Texas — Local 34-year-old Mark Finn was unsuccessful in his attempts to woo a woman into meeting up no-strings…

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Punk Marks Own Hand With Sharpie to Cover Up Night of Staying in and Getting Good Sleep

Russ Bizaro • May 20, 2022

PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Andrew Fetzer attempted to deceive friends by crudely marking his hands with a sharpie to hide…

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