EUREKA, Calif. — A squirrel rapidly burying nuts in the ground in preparation for the winter is now better prepared for retirement than one local…
RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Local woman Missy Frazier is sick of being the only one of her roommates with enough common decency to steal toilet paper…
CLARKSBURG, W. Va. — Hopeless romantic Stevie Knightson recently imploded his entire social life by profusely expressing his longtime admiration for pal Irene Debcott, ashamed…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Brian Hedges figured he’s still got a good 10 years to continually disappoint his parents with his life choices, his friends,…
NEW YORK — Local man and person exploring his kinks for the first time in his life, Jaden Brantz, reported that he was incredibly disappointed…
BOSTON — Local freelance writer Brittany Gates credits her financial success as a freelance writer to the full-time day job that she doesn’t tell anybody…
SALT LAKE CITY – A long-forgotten, years-old container of Great Value black pepper was recently unearthed in the pantry of a two-bedroom apartment, pleasantly surprised…
LOS ANGELES — Creators of the 2021 film reboot “Dune” were surprised to see a new generation of hardcore kids using references from the movie…
PHOENIX — Local Metalhead Josh Gunderson beamed with pride after realizing he is very close to owning a living room set thanks to several cinder…
SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — Oblivious dork Chazz Dorfner continued to irk the few acquaintances willing to tolerate him with his limitless cheeriness and old-timey sayings,…
NEW YORK — Local live music fan Rocco McMillan reportedly came home to find his tickets to an upcoming Every Time I Die show murdered…
LOS ANGELES — A seemingly innocuous Spotify pop-punk playlist was ordered by a judge at the Los Angeles superior court to stay at least 100…
PATCHOGUE, N.Y. — Best Buy’s nationwide Black Friday sale reportedly includes huge discounts on labor with their employees being paid half-off of what they should…
GRESHAM, Ore. — Local bargain hunter Terry Hodges was relieved to discover that the writhing, chaotic mass of humanity trampling him in order to procure…
WEST HAVEN, Conn. — Local man Nick Gransby is doing surprisingly well for himself with a loving family and fulfilling career, despite having never left…