BELLINGHAM, Wash. — Local punk house cat The Little Guy is reportedly furious at the return of house shows to the area and the loud,…
BLAINE, Wash. — Local band with at least one felony, Green Stream, will not be playing their scheduled Vancouver and Calgary shows of a current…
EUGENE, Ore. — Local actuary Kelly Freeman reported that her recent breakup from noise musician Floyd Harrell has “completely ruined” the genre for her, but…
WASHINGTON — Local punk Dave Murphy has a weirdly small TV which is causing great confusion, concern and disappointment in his social circle, according to…
DETROIT — Local short person Elizabeth Kramer spent $90 on floor tickets for an upcoming concert after forgetting that she’s only 5’2”, sources who have…
DAYTON, Ohio — Members of local punk band False Dmitri were shocked to learn that their longtime merch guy had a first, middle, and last…
LOS ANGELES — A relatively obscure film from the Indianapolis Police Department titled “Officer William Jameson’s Body Camera Footage 3/19/21” was awarded the Emmy for…
CHICAGO — Dad Belly frontman Blake Thomas was shocked to discover that he had never actually heard longtime drummer Sophie McDonald speak until the band’s…
CHICAGO — Local punk Jacob Brown found his net worth has skyrocketed now that drink tickets are redeemable again at reopened venues across the city,…
ATHENS, Ga. — Touring COVID strain Delta Variant surprised showgoers after being added to a sold-out show at local punk venue The Tribune late last…
Mmmm, where do you think you’re going? I see you pollinating my sweet golden honey with your eyeballs. Sure, you could buy a Porcelain Innards…
Listen, fellas. Enough’s enough. We don’t have another show for at least 3 months and, honestly, that one isn’t exactly set in stone. Our time…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local psychedelic doo-wop band Francis and the Francy Boys are preparing to play the “only a few tix left” gambit in response…
Okay, I’m cool. Sure I’ve had 11 PBRs on an empty stomach, but there is no way I’m gonna be in the bathroom when Shit…
SECAUCUS, N.J. — The newly created Merch Guy Hall of Fame announced its inaugural class of inductees consisting entirely of pretty average looking dudes named…