CARBONDALE, Ill. — Tired wife Ruby McDermott was reportedly “not in the mood” for sexual activity this evening, instead asking her husband to just lick…
It’s not my job to educate you. It’s your job to stop being ignorant. I understand that it’s easier for you to divide everyone you…
PLAINSVILLE, Iowa — Local virgin Andy Wardell grew concerned yesterday that his future sexual intercourse may resemble the acts described in any of the Cannibal…
SEATTLE — A passionate bout of intercourse between local couple Robert Levin and Andrea MacNeil was put on hold this afternoon to flip a record…
SACRAMENTO — Video game speedrunner Ashton Clemens insisted that a significant portion of his girlfriend’s orgasms were completed incorrectly, arguing that manual orgasms with non-modified…
SIMI VALLEY, Calif. — Up-and-coming male pornstar Dixon Nixon was seen online early Friday morning flashing a brand new flash tattoo of a heart and…
Dear Smut Developers, I am writing in regards to an ad for your product that I saw while trying to Putlocker season 2 of “Succession.”…
COSTA MESA, Calif. — Slightly tipsy local mom Candace Webber keeps dropping not-so-subtle hints that she fucked The Offspring singer Dexter Holland in the ‘90s,…
PITTSBURGH — A recent attempt at invigorating the intimacy of Dana Boyer’s relationship with an avid role-playing fanatic ended horribly after her husband Stephen Barker…
IRVINE, Calif. — Local dad and man who frequently wears his sunglasses on the back of his head Jared Stein spent the majority of a…
NEW YORK — Huge, anthropomorphic canary and “Sesame Street” cast member Big Bird was arrested late last night for loitering outside of the Love Puppet,…
PHOENIX — Local girlfriend Marissa Andrews is reportedly unaware that the playlist her boyfriend put on during sex last week was just a 2-hour YouTube…
DAYTON, Ohio — Local romantic Colin Novak finally proposed anal to his longtime girlfriend Amanda Hale yesterday at the couple’s favorite tapas restaurant, in front…
Joe Rogan is in danger of being canceled and we cannot let this happen. Canceling a voice like Joe Rogan’s is a slippery slope to…
Sometimes you get so wrapped up in your career that you lose sight of what’s really important, which is why I decided to quit my…